My Fathers Eyes: A Story of Stolen Lives


Chapter One--The Call

     I could not shake the feeling we were going to lose him.  Moving through my daily activities of feeding the animals, all the while attempting to calm the storm brewing inside my body, feeling the surge of emotions, I could not control, I worked hard not to lash out with anger on those I loved the most. 

      This is a part of Post-Traumatic Stress that leaves trauma survivors feeling they don’t fit in with most of society, leading to the desire to pull away, as that is safer than to be in the company of others. Stress and anxiety control the internal functions of the body while unresolved memories fight to be heard, seen, and healed.  Normal stress is difficult enough but add to it the inability to manage the stress as it cannot have “appropriate” expression, and you have an internal and external train wreck, wreaking havoc on mind, body, and spirit.  PTSD occurs when human beings try to cope with abnormal human experiences.  There is no way to make sense of the senseless.  No way to describe the indescribable.  C-PTSD just sits in the body, stirring up feelings of existing in an unsafe world.  The mind sees danger; the body prepares to fight or flight or freeze.  Emotions are stuck, thoughts are catastrophic, and motions are carried out in a state of fog.  Breathe Linda, just breathe.